10% Happier? Maybe.

I’ve been reading more lately. I always read newspapers and have a stack of books on my nightstand but sometimes TV intrudes on my reading time. This past weekend, I read a ton and finished Dan Harris’s 10% happier. If you’re unfamiliar with the book, Harris is a newscaster who was battling panic attacks and, as he so aptly called, it “the asshole voice in his head” or negative self-talk. Harris embarks on a journey through the self- help sphere in the most skeptical way. It reminded me a little of A.J. Jacob’s books, if you’ve read those.

Some things that have stuck with me from the book:

Just because a book changed someone else’s life doesn’t mean it will resonate with you. For example, Harris doesn’t relate to much of Eckhart Tolle’s writes. In fact, Harris interviews Tolle and doesn’t feel there’s much that’s useable in his advice. There are a number of books, Brene Brown’s work comes to mind, that friends or colleagues rave about whereas I cannot get through them. Unlike Bill Gates, I think it’s fine to put a book down and find one that’s not a struggle.

Wanderlust may be misleading. I am a travel junkie and I have always felt a certain pride in being adventurous. While reading this book, Harris describes the person always looking for the next thrill, trip or high. Maybe, focusing on these amazingly amazing moments makes everyday life feel dull or not enough. We were home this past weekend and, at first, part of me regretted not going to Vermont or somewhere new. Perhaps reading this book played a role but we had the best time. We had no plans, I slowed down…if you’re go, go, go reconsider a bit.

You don’t have to love yourself. Confession- I hate this advice. And again, it’s personal so if you love loving yourself by all means continue. For me, it feels phony. One of the experts on this book says he counsels against it. “Mindfulness gives us a way to examine our self-hatred without making it go away. Just being mindful of it can be liberating.” Harris points out, if we allow ourselves to acknowledge those less-than-lovable parts of ourselves maybe we don’t need to eat, pop pills or do whatever it is to hide it or distract ourselves. WOW

After reading this book I found myself looking at mediation as something with a payoff, I know that sounds wrong. I used to see meditation as something I should do, something other people benefited from. Now, I see it as something that could help me at work, help me pause and not react out of anger and tame that voice inside my head that’s an asshole.

What are you reading? Do you meditate? I’d love to hear.

Me, meditation and a work in progress (without much progress)

I know the benefits of meditation and I’m in awe of those of you with a regular “practice”.

I’ve investigated every form of meditation (or many). I went to a transcendental meditation info session but found it too cultish. I’ve done online courses but often look at how much time is left…I mean the computer is right there. Today, I attended a group meditation at MOMA, the Museum of Modern art.

My friend suggested the idea and the photos online showed people on cushions in front of beautiful artwork or gazing out at the sculpture garden. When I arrived at the museum, we were told to go “down two flights” which seemed odd. “I’m already claustrophobic” my friend told me. We followed the crowd to the theatre at the museum. It was dark, we were in seats, there was a photo of artwork called “Radius” on the stage’s screen. I was anti already.

The founder of Flavorpill took the stage introduced our teacher (who had a cushion by the way). She told us close our eyes and place our hands in our laps. She didn’t tell everyone to silence their phones and so regularly there were beeps and gongs and all other annoying phone sounds. Next, she talked about belly breath. I still don’t think I’m 100% sure what belly breath is- deep breaths? My mind drifted off to dissecting what that term means. Then Amy, I think that was her name, explained how to count your breath and she suggested exhaling for longer than you inhale. That’s probably old news for those of you meditation pros but I found that helpful yet difficult.

I think teacher preference is personal. I decided midway through belly breathing that Amy was a little annoying or not inspirational enough although that probably stemmed from my frustration. I was frustrated that I was thinking about what to get my father in law for his birthday. I was frustrated that I was frustrated with the subway rumbling and the museum noise.

Before I paint a completely negative picture, there were a few glimmers of hope. First, some of the affirmations or concrete ideas resonated with me. “Think about the best version of today, or the best for you or your family.” And by the time Amy told us to open our eyes, after doing some weird rubbing our hands together and placing them over our eyes, I couldn’t believe a half hour had passed. I left the museum feeling more positive. I’m not sure if that’s because the sun was shining and I got a taxi OR if it was due to the meditation. I’m not done with meditation. I feel like the people who take 10 hours to finish a marathon. They still finish, right? As for my friend, I texted asking if she'd go again. "Probably not again for Moma or any meditation but glad I went and always great to see you".

I was a meditation faillure until this

Meditation stresses me out.  While I’m fully on board with all meditation can do for me, I couldn’t find a way to work it into my life. Some people meditate first thing in the morning. That’s great but I like to write at that time. Others suggest meditating before bed but at that point, I just want to go to bed. I’ve spent money on apps and programs and nothing stuck until my most recent discovery.

One of my favorite things in life is a sauna. I love the dry heat and the quiet. I find it to be one of the most relaxing things but I don’t have a sauna at home. I do have a steam shower, which was never my thing (more of a bath girl). Marc insisted on it when we renovated. I’ve slowly come around and find it sauna-esque, now I set the steam for 10 minutes whenever I shower.

I’ve been pretty anxious the last couple of weeks. It’s nothing major but the usual not enough hours in the day stuff that comes with the kids being back in their routines and work kicking up for me.  I’ve noticed my heart racing a bit. And so, when I found myself with five minutes left on the steam shower, I decided it was an opportunity (and all I can say to the person who thought this sentence meant something else is it's a MEDITATION post). I sat down (we have a bench in our shower, another Marc request), closed my eyes and “focused on my breath”.  If that sounds a little woo woo to you, I agree. You see I’m not someone who can focus on my breath. The only thing that works for me is counting. I count five counts to inhale and another five to exhale.  I think there’s something to be said for being locked in the shower. Even if my eyes open there’s no computer screen or phone. There’s nobody who will walk in (surprisingly this is the one safe haven in my house) or distract me. And I’m only aiming for five minutes at this point.  I’m ok with that as I read (in People which made me feel better about my People habit too) the Dalai Lama quoted saying, “there shouldn’t be any strict rules. It’s not good to push oneself too much.” So there.

Do you meditate? When and where do you do it? For how long? Do you like saunas?

So I started meditating…sort of

Our newsletter today focuses on healthy rituals. We culled top food and fitness experts for their daily rituals and the answers were inspiring (and funny).  Some responses were too in depth for our monthly newsletter and so we’ll feature them here this week. In the meantime, the newsletter also mentioned those rituals you wish you did which we call “wishuals”.

Meditation has been a wishual for me for some time. I think it’s been a New Year’s resolution.  I’ve polled my Facebook friends to find out their favorite meditation teachers,  I even went to an intro session on transcendental meditation (the twice a day requirement and weird cult-like infomercial ruined it for me).  This past summer, I registered for a meditation retreat at The Garrison Institute retreat taught by Jack Kornfield (who I had heard about as I own one of his books). But I didn’t go; I didn’t read the book or attend classes either.  And if New Year’s resolutions were superstitions, I’d be screwed. And maybe I am screwed because meditation changes everyone’s life and here I am unchanged.

So, earlier this month I signed up for a Deepak Chopra/ Oprah (their names sound so great together) 21-day online meditation course. The registration took two minutes and I was technically good to go. I sat down at my computer and clicked through to Day 1. Oprah does a little intro and then Deepak takes over. After a couple of minutes of talking, you’re encouraged to close your eyes and focus on your breath. This is much harder than it sounds. I, after all, am the person who had trouble with the savasana at the end of yoga class. You know, the corpse pose? You lie down and after a couple of minutes of silence you are supposed to be restored. Who can't be a corpse for two minutes? This is probably the most important part of the class and yet I regularly ran out to check Instagram (or email if that sounds more legit). You see where this is going.

Back to day one, I breathed in and out and in and out. When I was about to hyperventilate, I decided to repeat the mantra, as we were instructed, but realized I forgot it. I then opened my eyes to check how much time was left. I had been meditating for three minutes, so sad. By the time Deepak said, “you can now open your eyes” my eyes were long opened.  While I felt a little lame, I also felt somewhat proud that I had tried. I told myself I’d keep my eyes closed the next day. However, the next day I had early clients and my plan to meditate later in the day didn’t pan out.

So today marks 1 week since I started. I’ve “meditated” four times. I could say meditation is not for me but despite being sort of pathetic at it- I enjoy it.  And probably the people who check email during meditation are the ones that need it most. I really hope this wishual becomes a ritual. Namaste.

Do you meditate? Was it difficult when you first started? Or, is meditation a wishual for you? Any other wishuals?