10% Happier? Maybe.

I’ve been reading more lately. I always read newspapers and have a stack of books on my nightstand but sometimes TV intrudes on my reading time. This past weekend, I read a ton and finished Dan Harris’s 10% happier. If you’re unfamiliar with the book, Harris is a newscaster who was battling panic attacks and, as he so aptly called, it “the asshole voice in his head” or negative self-talk. Harris embarks on a journey through the self- help sphere in the most skeptical way. It reminded me a little of A.J. Jacob’s books, if you’ve read those.

Some things that have stuck with me from the book:

Just because a book changed someone else’s life doesn’t mean it will resonate with you. For example, Harris doesn’t relate to much of Eckhart Tolle’s writes. In fact, Harris interviews Tolle and doesn’t feel there’s much that’s useable in his advice. There are a number of books, Brene Brown’s work comes to mind, that friends or colleagues rave about whereas I cannot get through them. Unlike Bill Gates, I think it’s fine to put a book down and find one that’s not a struggle.

Wanderlust may be misleading. I am a travel junkie and I have always felt a certain pride in being adventurous. While reading this book, Harris describes the person always looking for the next thrill, trip or high. Maybe, focusing on these amazingly amazing moments makes everyday life feel dull or not enough. We were home this past weekend and, at first, part of me regretted not going to Vermont or somewhere new. Perhaps reading this book played a role but we had the best time. We had no plans, I slowed down…if you’re go, go, go reconsider a bit.

You don’t have to love yourself. Confession- I hate this advice. And again, it’s personal so if you love loving yourself by all means continue. For me, it feels phony. One of the experts on this book says he counsels against it. “Mindfulness gives us a way to examine our self-hatred without making it go away. Just being mindful of it can be liberating.” Harris points out, if we allow ourselves to acknowledge those less-than-lovable parts of ourselves maybe we don’t need to eat, pop pills or do whatever it is to hide it or distract ourselves. WOW

After reading this book I found myself looking at mediation as something with a payoff, I know that sounds wrong. I used to see meditation as something I should do, something other people benefited from. Now, I see it as something that could help me at work, help me pause and not react out of anger and tame that voice inside my head that’s an asshole.

What are you reading? Do you meditate? I’d love to hear.

Do you guilt eat?

 I’ve written about peer pressure before and “bossy bosses”.  Guilt eating is similar but generally speaking in this case the person gifting or offering food has good intentions. I hear instances of guilt eating all the time. Just this week “My mom left this morning! After she left, I filled a trash bag with all of the English muffins, chips and dessert she had so graciously bought me :)”

Good that the “trash” was tossed. I’m not 100% convinced bringing these foods to an adult “child” is the best idea but you see the pull. Mom thought of me and arrived with these foods, it was so nice of her.  Yes, to an extent it was, feel that gesture.

Or, this one is even more tricky and loaded, “my kids had made cinnamon chip cookies which my daughter "invented” she had to make up a recipe for school...how could I not have one?”

Are you ready? Neither mom’s kindness nor this child’s creativity are ignored if we don’t consume the food. Acknowledge the emotion “thank you so much for taking time to bring these” OR “tell me what you put in these cookies”. It will not create an eating disorder in your children if you say “let’s put this in a container, I’m going to have it tomorrow as my treat” or “those look amazing but I’m not hungry right now.” You see, show enthusiasm and graciousness but only eat the said food if you really want to. It's your choice and your guilt or lack thereof. Make sense?

Do you guilt eat? In what situations?