The Secret to our Squeeze Programs

Squeezers Insta story

Carolyn and I are both R.Ds, we seek out and sample fab food products (many are not fab)  and have years of nutrition counseling under our belts (I hate belts btw, where did that expression come from). I’ve noticed that the extraordinary success participants, in our Squeeze weeks, have doesn’t entirely depend on these things. It sounds so simple, and not groundbreaking, but one reason these programs are successful is because participants are focused on their food. I’ll explain..

We all talk about the juggle. My juggle is parenting and working and working out and cooking and walking the dog. I’m getting anxious just listing these items, so I’ll stop there. But we all have various things demanding our focus. Inevitably, some ball, or more than one, gets dropped during any period of time. If we have an important project at work, that gets moved to the top of the list. Our kids are going back to school (ahem), there goes a couple of workouts that week. You can relate, right?

During our week-long programs, our Squeezers move wellness to the top of the list. There’s also the financial commitment and daily accountability but I’d say the overall focus is paramount. Some Squeezers leave work earlier in order to have dinner at a normal hour (we suggest an early bird dinner on the Squeeze). Or maybe, on a typical week the wine, yogurt and old olives in your fridge are sufficient but this week, you’re going to get to that long, lost grocery store (see photo above)

Once you’ve signed on for a healthier week, the added structure isn’t overwhelming. You’ve carved out time and cleared, or somewhat cleared, your calendar. Even clients forced to travel during these programs find they have resolve they previously didn’t. So try it, you may have to plan it a few weeks out. Carve out 5-7 days to do all those healthy things that’ve been marginalized.

And if you aren’t satisfied with my “secret” I teased in the title, check out our September Newsletter, “Two, new must-have items for a September reset.”

When it comes to kids and weight, is it always best to shut your mouth?

In the time I’ve been practicing nutrition I’ve become a mother twice (three times if we count Bronco). I’ve seen clients have children and younger children grow up. I’ve had clients refer their parents to me and of course parents “urge” children, of all different ages, to start Foodtraining. The weight dynamic within families is something Carolyn and I spend a lot of time sorting out.

Last week, I read a letter a father submitted to Social Q’s in the Times. His letter opened with “my 9-year-old daughter is fat” ouch, no mincing words with that sentence. The father felt his daughter was old enough for a dialog about making good choices and indicated that his wife disagreed. “She worries about the effect on our daughter’s self-esteem.” Philip Galanes blasted the father in his response. He pointed out the father’s bluntness, lack of apparent love and interest in how his daughter’s weight reflected on him. He warned this father that he would increase the chances of developing an eating disorder. While I cannot think of many things worse than telling a child they’re “fat” I feel many parents are so scared of “creating an eating disorder” that they often say nothing.  While cruel, critical parents can fuck children up – ignoring food and weight has its own consequences. 
Some advice:

You are likely “that kind of parent”

Every parent who calls my office opens with “I’m not one of those crazy parents”. Of course they are, we all are. Most parents worry and don’t always say things in the best way, our thoughts aren’t always pure.  Do some work (perhaps with your own expert) to sort out how your “stuff” around food affects your parenting. Did you have a parent that was weight obsessed? Or critical? Have you struggled with body image and want to shield your children from the same? Are you embarrassed to have a chubby child? You must be clear on this in order to really help your children.

Cook and teach your children to cook (or assemble)

There are few things better for kids and teens than home cooking. Not only is home-cooked food overall healthier, it’s less salty and sweet and doesn’t invite overeating as takeout or restaurant food does. And whether it’s putting peanut butter on a banana or making an omelet, simple cooking skills will encourage children reaching for healthier items versus packaged snacks. And do what you can, if this can only happen on the weekends, that’s a start. If the person cooking with your child is a babysitter or grandparent- that’s totally fine.

Outsource

The exact same advice will be interpreted differently depending on who it comes from. Whether it’s a nutritionist, psychologist or doctor (though I have to say many pediatricians are a bit too cut and dry when discussing weight for my taste), it’s best that someone else suggests steps to take. Parents can support the advice provided by an expert.

And finally, choose honesty over political correctness

With everything our children are exposed to do you really think you can avoid the weight/size topic?  If you’ve struggled with your weight, discuss this with your children. Ask your children how they feel about their size (height, weight etc.) and depending on their response ask if they want help making changes.

And, for the record, I have a weight issue in my midst. Bronco is overweight. And my babysitter gets upset with me with I call the Boston Terrier “fat”.

I freaked out majorly: warning 1st world problem

I haven’t written in a bit but I have a good reason. I was in food shock. It started a few weeks ago. We decided- I should say I decided to replace our cracked kitchen tile and countertops. My husband gave me the “is this really necessary?” line.  The truth is that his kitchen experience amounts to occasional coffee making, gluten free beer opening and table clearing when he’s in a helpful mood. I could’ve wasted my time pointing out that the kitchen to me was the equivalent of the golf course for him but I had a more productive idea. I selected the countertop material  (Caesar stone) and flooring (light wood planks). I presented my husband with two samples of each that were basically the same so he could “choose” and put him in touch with the kitchen guy. Our division of labor for any renovation is design- me and construction- him. This proved to be a mistake.

Two weeks ago today, the boys had started spring break and I was enjoying not having to be out of the house at 7:30AM. The doorbell rang and I answered it in my pajamas. There were five men with tools standing outside with the head honcho kitchen guy. I had been told the kitchen work would be done while we were away. As I stood in the doorway, Marc emerged freshly showered and smiled at the guys “that’s great that you’re getting an early start.” And the unraveling began. I guarantee these nice men will tell the story of the crazy upper west side lady for years to come.

“You told me this was happening when we were away”

  He said

“I thought it was a good idea for them to start before we left in case there were questions.”

While that’s totally logical in retrospect I said

“It’s a good idea for you but what about me, I am supposed to eat days of take-out food right before a vacation?”

And he said

“I think having a new kitchen is worth a few days of non-organic food.”

It went downhill from there and I decided to go get dressed and calm down.

When I came downstairs, four men were carrying my fridge into the dining room.

The fridge was unplugged. The fridge with a freezer full of grass fed meat and wild salmon, the fridge with my kombuchas and organic berries.

And while I now know I must’ve sounded like a spoiled baby, I freaked.  Mid fit the kitchen guy plugged the fridge into a dining room outlet. The light went back on and I started to breathe.

I will never admit this to my husband but I kind of liked running out to Juice Generation to get smoothies breakfast for all of us and a few newspapers. Having no kitchen meant no pillaging for dark chocolate. And we plugged the coffee maker in the home office and it was fine.

This past Friday, the men were putting the kitchen sink in and the kitchen guy said “was it worth it?” and, with my tail between my legs, I apologized knowing that nothing I cold say would erase my crazy. It was totally worth it.  The problem is that now I don’t want to cook and mess any of the newness up.

It Was Me All Along

I read two types of books. For work it’s mostly non-fiction. There’s a stack of books staring at me on fascinating topics such as probiotics, hormones and seeds. On the weekends, I’ll treat myself a novel, something I can read more than one chapter of at a time. Though I like anything nutrition-related, rarely am I captivated by something I’m reading for work. However, I spent most of Saturday on the couch with It Was Me all Along. And if you’ve ever struggled with food or family, you will cherish Andie Mitchell’s story.

I do something weird while I read (and I randomly found out another friend does too). I fold the bottom of the page in a book if there’s something I want to return to. I had so many corner flips as I read this one. A few of my favorites:

Where does emotional eating begin?

Without giving too much away, in the first part of the book you learn about Andie’s early years. In a way both of her parents were absent. But it was her mother who was “scared of scarcity” and baked and cooked excessively when she was around who had a steady influence on Andie’s food and weight.  When she was around, we get the picture of a loving mom who truly wants what’s best for her daughter.

Change of circumstances, change of eating?

As I read, I thought surely when Andie left home and went off to college she’d be less lonely and her food might fall into place.  I was wrong, what started off as eating out of loneliness morphed into social eating. She found friends and entered relationships with those who enjoyed overeating too. In many ways, for better or for worse, our peers have an effect on our eating.

The realizations that start to change things

At one point, after visiting a drive through with a friend, Andie remarks she doesn’t even like McDonald’s fries “I wondered how many other foods I ate that I didn’t even like. Then I wondered, however briefly, if my eating was even about liking food at all”. Eating can be about so many non-taste related things. As Andie said best, “whenever I started to feel even one inkling of boredom, doubt, anxiety or anger, food would soothe me. At least temporarily.”

There are always “two voices”

Andie captures the struggle, the pull of “both voices” many of us have.  “I struggled between wishing away all the food that had collected on my body as fat and fiercely missing every morsel.”

What to do when things aren’t going so well

I loved a breakthrough Andie had when she was wavering “oh so this is going to suck for a while”. She compares eating to a marathon “where miles 10 through twenty-six just purely, uncompromisingly suck. ” It’s not always fun and many of us have to realize that.

Mindful Eating

Some of my favorite parts of this book are when Andie goes abroad to Italy. She discovers running and cooking but also pleasure in food. It’s a major, meaningful and beautiful shift going  “from someone who ate to capacity to distract her mind, into someone who purposefully tasted every morsel, was not unconscious”

We can lose weight without really addressing things

 “I wanted so badly to conceal the fact that, despite a radical transformation, I remained as screwed up as I had been. I was alone with myself. I was exposed. I was left with emotions I’d eaten for twenty years”

And finally…

“I was simply one person who happened to have lots of history and personal experience with dieting, losing weight and learning to love her whole self”

Have you read or heard of this book? Which quote resonated with you? What are you reading now?