When it comes to kids and weight, is it always best to shut your mouth?

In the time I’ve been practicing nutrition I’ve become a mother twice (three times if we count Bronco). I’ve seen clients have children and younger children grow up. I’ve had clients refer their parents to me and of course parents “urge” children, of all different ages, to start Foodtraining. The weight dynamic within families is something Carolyn and I spend a lot of time sorting out.

Last week, I read a letter a father submitted to Social Q’s in the Times. His letter opened with “my 9-year-old daughter is fat” ouch, no mincing words with that sentence. The father felt his daughter was old enough for a dialog about making good choices and indicated that his wife disagreed. “She worries about the effect on our daughter’s self-esteem.” Philip Galanes blasted the father in his response. He pointed out the father’s bluntness, lack of apparent love and interest in how his daughter’s weight reflected on him. He warned this father that he would increase the chances of developing an eating disorder. While I cannot think of many things worse than telling a child they’re “fat” I feel many parents are so scared of “creating an eating disorder” that they often say nothing.  While cruel, critical parents can fuck children up – ignoring food and weight has its own consequences. 
Some advice:

You are likely “that kind of parent”

Every parent who calls my office opens with “I’m not one of those crazy parents”. Of course they are, we all are. Most parents worry and don’t always say things in the best way, our thoughts aren’t always pure.  Do some work (perhaps with your own expert) to sort out how your “stuff” around food affects your parenting. Did you have a parent that was weight obsessed? Or critical? Have you struggled with body image and want to shield your children from the same? Are you embarrassed to have a chubby child? You must be clear on this in order to really help your children.

Cook and teach your children to cook (or assemble)

There are few things better for kids and teens than home cooking. Not only is home-cooked food overall healthier, it’s less salty and sweet and doesn’t invite overeating as takeout or restaurant food does. And whether it’s putting peanut butter on a banana or making an omelet, simple cooking skills will encourage children reaching for healthier items versus packaged snacks. And do what you can, if this can only happen on the weekends, that’s a start. If the person cooking with your child is a babysitter or grandparent- that’s totally fine.

Outsource

The exact same advice will be interpreted differently depending on who it comes from. Whether it’s a nutritionist, psychologist or doctor (though I have to say many pediatricians are a bit too cut and dry when discussing weight for my taste), it’s best that someone else suggests steps to take. Parents can support the advice provided by an expert.

And finally, choose honesty over political correctness

With everything our children are exposed to do you really think you can avoid the weight/size topic?  If you’ve struggled with your weight, discuss this with your children. Ask your children how they feel about their size (height, weight etc.) and depending on their response ask if they want help making changes.

And, for the record, I have a weight issue in my midst. Bronco is overweight. And my babysitter gets upset with me with I call the Boston Terrier “fat”.

Poke' is worth leaving your desk for

Usually, when I have a healthy discovery I cannot wait to spread the word. But there are certain instances where I hesitate, there’s an inclination to be greedy. I had that “I’m not sure if I should spread the word” thought as I ate my lunch on Friday.

For weeks Carolyn has been talking about poke’, poke’ poke” but I didn’t get it. I thought it looked like tartare. What was all the fuss about? Carolyn said, “it’s like a sashimi bowl”.  I looked Wisefish Poke’ up online and grew increasingly curious. The concept originated in Hawaii and seemed to be some hybrid of a make your own salad and the rice/quinoa bowl craze. There’s raw fish, a choice of sauces and other add-ins. I hear poke’ (poh-kay) is already “the thing” in LA.

I was in Chelsea on Friday and decided to hit Wisefish poke’ for lunch. My favorite nutritionist (the RD formerly known as One Smart Brownie,) couldn’t meet so I poke’-ed solo.  Wisefish had some suggestion combinations, the “Heat Wave” sounded good but given the choice I always make my own. My poke’ consisted of:

Zucchini noodles (brown or white rice are also options)

Salmon

Spicy shoyu (all sauces are GF)

Jalapenos

Hikjiki

Scallions

Cucumbers

Avocado

Sesame seeds

After I paid ($16 this included an unsweetened matcha ginger tea), I made my way to the window seating and of course snapped some pics of my poke’ It was definitely pretty but I still didn’t know what I was in for. Sometimes I make my own salad and it’s fantastic, other times it's too spicy or contains combinations that taste weird together.

Not this time. This was mind-blowingly good. It was super flavorful but not overpowering.  I was fantasizing about eating this lunch every day. Part of me didn’t want this dream lunch it to end but when it did I was surprisingly satisfied.

I’m not sure if you caught (pun…) this article on lunch in the New York Times yesterday. “Failure to Lunch” revealed that 62% of professionals eat lunch at their desks. This statistic sounds a little sad but there’s an upside. When we eat lunch alone, we tend to eat less. I’m curious if this holds true for meals consumed alone at home or dinnertime. My guess would be alone is not always a good thing.  The article disputed the notion that having a “desk lunch” leads to more productivity. Just because you’re not getting up doesn’t mean you’re working (Facebook trolling isn’t work).  I strongly believe, when possible, get yourself outside. This is important for your mood and energy.  Maybe, now that you have the lure of something new for lunch, you’ll step away from your desk.

Have you heard of or tried poke’? What’s your typical lunch? Do you eat it at your desk?

I'm sorry Jennifer Weiner, "trying" doesn't make you superficial

We have another great giveaway coming your way, but an article I read this weekend pushed my “must write about” button.  Let me first say that I love Jennifer Weiner’s writing and I’ll even admit I appreciate her Bachelor live-tweeting. I didn’t enjoy  “One Day We Can Stop Trying,Right?” I may be in the minority because multiple Facebook friends posted the link to it.

If you didn’t catch the piece, JW starts out with the observation that magazines tend to stop focusing on women after 60.  “It’s as if, for the purposes of good looks and sexiness, older women cease to exist.” Ouch I thought but JW takes comfort in the notion of being cut off as “a finish line, a point at which you were no longer expected to perform what sometimes feels like a woman’s major duty in life- looking good for men.”

Though “perform” and “duty” made me cringe, I used to wonder about what Jennifer describes. Will I care about my skinny jeans, bathing suit body and scale surges and dips when I’m older? I’ve learned from clients in their 70s and even 80s that answer is I probably will. I hope I do. My older clients are doers. They’re traveling, socializing, exercising and they want to feel (and look) good in the process. For them, there isn’t anything onerous about it, and they definitely aren’t trying to look good for men.

The article isn’t just about aging. Jennifer Weiner seems to have joined the “we’re above dieting, caring about our looks and weight” brigade. There are now anti-diet books. The words skinny and thin are taboo as if to be truly evolved means you need to wave a “looks don’t matter” flag. I’m not waving the flag, neither are most women or most men for that matter.

 It’s not just a matter of looks; Carolyn and I just finished the first of our January “Whipping Weeks”. We asked participants to describe how they felt before they started and we asked again last night. After a week they said things like, “energized, motivated, healthy and proud.” Trying can leave you feeling a whole lot better than not trying.

JW also pokes Oprah. I agree with her (and wrote about) that there’s something inauthentic about the Oprah/Weight Watchers ads. However, Weiner decided that Oprah is too old and accomplished to care about weight. “Oprah, of all people, should be open to the possibility that she already is the woman she’s meant to be. And when you’re 61 are you really still expected to be fretting over whether you’ve got your best body?” I say, regardless of prestige or personal growth, you are allowed to want to work on your body AND you may not feel your best until you do.

Weiner quotes one expert and concludes that any time you lose weight you gain it back. Again, she’s padding her case that you may as well not try.

The conclusion of the article is what had me cursing at my Sunday paper. First she says, “Women are encouraged to measure out our lives in 55-minute barre classes and four-ounce servings of chicken.” She suggests that we donate our dieting dollars to charities and add new things, new skills, new classes (just not barre classes I guess) versus always taking things away. But she saves the most judgy for last,“in 2016, let’s look beyond the superficial and all resolve to make more of ourselves, not less. Really? We have to choose? You’re either charitable and interesting or weight-conscious and superficial? If that’s the case, it’s amazing someone like me even reads The New York Times. I don’t know about you, I enjoy “trying”. But I can’t type any more, I have to go measure my four ounces of chicken.

So, do you envision or hope for a time when you will stop “trying”? Why do you think it’s frowned upon to care about appearance or weight? Do exercise classes and mindful eating indicate you’re superficial? 
And the winner of the Young Living, essential oil giveaway is Erin. Thank you to those who entered and tweeted etc.

Are Periods Going Public?

We field a lot of hormone-related questions. After all our hormones affect everything from our appetite to our mood, throw in 198 other potential symptoms and you have a major wellness impediment. Last month, Carolyn and I filmed a video we called “WTF PMS” because a) we didn’t feel the need to choose a classier title and b) let’s face it we have no issue with semi taboo topics. The strange thing is that cycles, hormones and periods have sort of come out of the closet. Yesterday, the New York Times ran a story called “Candidly Spelling Out the “P” word about period tracking apps. One could argue that using “P” instead of period is neither candid nor spelled out. On the same day, I received an email from Greatist “what’s up with digestion during your period”. I feel one-upped by them because they hit two taboos in one title, dang.

Check out the video for our Food First Aid Kit for PMS, find out why the snack below from Navitas Naturals is a PMS crusher and hear our PMS theme song. We'll also introduce you to the new "zoodle" in town, yup hello swoodles. Subscribe to our you tube channel and let us know if there are topics you’d like us to tackle. Be Well (wink).

Do you think it’s good that woman (and men) can discuss hormones and other touchy topics? What are your worst PMS symptoms? Do you track things in an app?