I’m so happy I was pregnant and had young children before Instagram

A close friend of mine is a psychiatrist (I’ll refer to her as M.D.) but she’s too professional to ever discuss her sessions. I do wonder if she’s encountering anything like:

M.D: Take me back to where this all started

Patient: Well, l I was in the womb.

M.D. And you have memories from this time?

Patient: I don't need memories, it's all on my mother's Instagram. 

M.D. Tell me more…

Patient: My mother documented her pregnancy, with me on social media. The legs over head to conceive, the WHOLE pregnancy, my bris (close up). It's all there for everyone to see.

M.D. So, she posted those “15 weeks, 16 weeks updates?

Patient: No, it is even more embarrassing than that. She counted hourly- it was “360^thhour, 361^st and so on.

M.D. And what is your first actual first memory?

Patient: It was my birthday, I was turning 3.

M.D. And you had a party or received a present?

Patient: Yes, there was a party and a beautiful, birthday cake. Guests sang happy birthday, I blew out the candles and there was clapping but my mom wasn’t happy, I didn’t know it, at the time but she didn’t like the photo. So, we did it again, not the whole party but the candle, the singing, the clapping. All I wanted was to taste my cake but we had to get the right photo.”

It’s cringe worthy for me, and it could just be me or that I’m at another stage, but the details and minutia of a pregnancy, then baby stages and then perfectly posed toddlers, I can’t. And I actually can’t. a) I don’t like to post too many photos of my kids as I don’t think people really want to see them and b) my kids would object, they’re of age now to do so. Are they kids or are they photo props? Correct me, if I'm wrong, but do any of you enjoy endless photos of pregnant friends or their children? Granted, most of my photos are of food. And I am guilty of postponing meals to document a photogenic salad or smoothie. And I have friends who roll their eyes at the meal pics. To each their own…. I guess.

Do your munchkins need munchkins?

Not my boys, boys- I promise

It's a little tricky when you're a mom and a nutritionist. Sadly, I tend to keep my mouth shut when out of the office (when it comes to food-related matters, mouth rarely shuts in general). I say "sadly" because so much of what kids eat at school and after school is pretty crappy. And if that "kids are kids" argument popped into your head, I will say that this "kids are kids" thinking has resulted in a crap overload. And ironically after parenting for 13 and a half years, I can say no where is this junk-a-thon more prevalent that in children's sports.
* 13 year old asked "what am I getting for my half birthday" I said "nothing" and he sulked.

I shouldn't single these out but I will

So, after years of appalling food and sports incidents: one coach felt a pile of candy bars at halftime was a good idea, cookies when games end at noon (how about lunch or a pizza perhaps) or the millions of munchkins my boys have been presented with, I received this from my son's new coach
"I'm thinking of doing away with the snack schedule, each family can bring a snack and water for their own child." I don't dance but mentally the happy dance was happening. I posted this on Facebook and one commenter (of I think 25) said "what did your son think?" The truth is he didn't mention it and we went to lunch following the game. My son was psyched that the team did well which tends to be his area of focus. I will take competitiveness over sugar and not to worry my kids have sugar and burgers and fries.

But you see I have two children. The following week the typical email from a parent showed up in my inbox,  "I'm setting up the team snack schedule, please let me know..." In years' past I would've obligingly picked a date and use it as an opportunity to bring something like this

Or

And before you label me as "that mom" I will tell you that these are generally devoured. My theory is that kids almost roll their eyes at the cookie (that isn't usually a great cookie) or above donuts.
This year, encouraged by the other coach, I said "just throwing it out there but on another team the coach felt snacks weren't necessary, any thoughts?" I received a civil reply that said "I think snacks are something the kids like BUT I will poll the group and get back to you." I wasn't optimistic but waited. In the interim I posted the incident on Facebook. Many parents were worried about being the "mean mom" or "getting dirty looks" if suggesting healthy snacks or snacklessness. But guess what? The snack scheduler emailed "I didn't hear back from any parents so I'm going to scratch the snack schedule, everyone can bring their own."

The moral of this snack story is, voice your opinion to a league or coach or fellow parent. You'd be surprised that many parents are either happy their children aren't having constant crap OR relieved not to have to run out on a Saturday to get snacks for an entire team, "one more thing to think about" one mom said. Wherever you stand on nutrition, getting to the right field at the right time with your child and water should be enough.
Do you recall sports snacks growing up? Do you think I'm being a "mean mom"? I mean I am a mean mom but let's focus on snacks...

Do you guilt eat?

 I’ve written about peer pressure before and “bossy bosses”.  Guilt eating is similar but generally speaking in this case the person gifting or offering food has good intentions. I hear instances of guilt eating all the time. Just this week “My mom left this morning! After she left, I filled a trash bag with all of the English muffins, chips and dessert she had so graciously bought me :)”

Good that the “trash” was tossed. I’m not 100% convinced bringing these foods to an adult “child” is the best idea but you see the pull. Mom thought of me and arrived with these foods, it was so nice of her.  Yes, to an extent it was, feel that gesture.

Or, this one is even more tricky and loaded, “my kids had made cinnamon chip cookies which my daughter "invented” she had to make up a recipe for school...how could I not have one?”

Are you ready? Neither mom’s kindness nor this child’s creativity are ignored if we don’t consume the food. Acknowledge the emotion “thank you so much for taking time to bring these” OR “tell me what you put in these cookies”. It will not create an eating disorder in your children if you say “let’s put this in a container, I’m going to have it tomorrow as my treat” or “those look amazing but I’m not hungry right now.” You see, show enthusiasm and graciousness but only eat the said food if you really want to. It's your choice and your guilt or lack thereof. Make sense?

Do you guilt eat? In what situations?